3 Easy Steps To Avoid Catching Syphilis!

brandon

Hey guys, Brandon here. An alarming new report from the California Department of Public Health says that STD rates are on the rise in the state. In San Francisco alone, there was a 25% jump in syphilis cases between 2011 and 2012! And according to SF Weekly, all these cases are “occurring in higher numbers among homosexual men and transgender persons,” but researchers don’t understand why. I regularly have bareback anal sex, but I only fuck other gay guys, NOT trannies, so I don’t understand why this is happening either!

As I’ve said previously though, the science on how STDs are transmitted is still out, and instead of worrying about the who/what/when/why/where/how of how diseases like HIV and syphilis are spread, let’s focus on what we do understand: How to stay safe! And with that in mind, I’m proud to present Intern Brandon’s 3 Easy Steps to Avoid Catching Syphilis.

[Disclaimer: I'm a college student, not a licensed physician or a medical doctor, so take these tips with a drop of lube LOL. That being said, I have been around the block and had a lot of bareback anal sex with a lot of guys, and I've managed to stay completely disease free since I came out and started having sex last September, so...just sayin'.]

1. Don’t Fuck Trannies!
Duh, the researchers already pretty much gave this 1st tip away, so it’s the most obvious. As today’s report clearly states, “…syphilis is occurring in higher numbers among homosexual men and transgender persons. Researchers have suggested a number of causes, but suspect the reasons are hidden in the data.” Hidden? Not so much. I guess the California Department of Public Health is more interested in being politic correct than they are saving lives, but the facts don’t lie. Syphilis is being spread through homosexual men who have sex with transgender persons—they said it themselves, not me. #SorryBoutIt. Don’t fuck trannies and I gurantee that syphilis cases will go down.

2. Don’t Fuck People From The Internet!
Reserchers also suggest that “a large portion of STD cases occurred among people who met their partners on the Internet” like on Grindr or Facebook. This part makes total sense to me. These days, people are getting catfished left and right thanks to online hook-up sites, so you can’t trust anyone. People are lying about their age, their physical appearnace, and even they’re gender, so what’s to stop them from also lying about their STD status before you have sex with them? Only have bareback sex with people you know and trust from your circle of friends, co-workers, classmates, or mutual acquaintences who can definately swear to God and promise you 100% that they don’t have syphilis. If the Monti Teo scandal taught us anything, it’s not to meet people from the internet.

3. Get Tested And Know You’re Status!
The most important, and easiest, step of all. Knowing is half the battle, so be sure to get tested regularly if you’re having bareback sex. If you come back negative, you’re all clear. Feel free to have as much bareback anal sex as you want. Just be sure to go back and get tested every 3-6 months. On the off chance that your test does come back positive with syphilis, it’s not the end of the world. The doctors will put you on some pills and you’ll be back to your old self in no time. Unfortunately, while you’re being treated for syphilis, you’re not allowed to engage in bareback anal sex because then you could unknowingly give it to your partner, weather you’re a top or a bottom (I’m a vers top). Of course, even if you do break the rules and have bareback anal sex and accidentally spread syphilis to your partner, he can still go out and also get tested and make things right. Know your status!

Good luck out there, guys!
—Brandon

 

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20 Responses to “3 Easy Steps To Avoid Catching Syphilis!”

  1. TWEWY says:

    Don’t forget super gonorrhea is on the rise.

  2. Andy says:

    Is this a joke? How do all the trannies fill about this article? How abut the numbers of HIV amongst gay men? Is that stoping you “Brandon” from having bare back sex with men? Even if they swear to god as you say I just think this has to be a joke. Please tell me it is

  3. PK says:

    Please tell me this is a joke

  4. PK says:

    How do the trannies fill about this article? What about the numbers of HIV persisting amongst gay men? Is that stopping you “Brandon” from havering bare back sex with them? Even if they swear to GOD as you said was one of your safety precautions, I just fill this has to be a joke or you’re being just as closed minded and hypocritical as all the heterosexual are towards Gay’s This article clearly is close minded and leaves people singled out by someone who should be standing up for rites not making us gays look bad

  5. TG says:

    Allowing this to be published is offensive and irresponsible. I’m out.

  6. robirob says:

    Oh Naked Sword, you’re better than The Onion sometimes.

  7. BE says:

    I miss Chelsea. :(

  8. TF says:

    Am I the only person here that wants to fuck Brandon? Who needs gay for pay porn stars, show me some Brandon beef.

  9. Dutch Courage says:

    …. and if you catch something (a certainty these days) you just blame bareback porn for your irresponsible hedonistic behaviour.

  10. damques says:

    these fake posts that are supposed to pass for satire are boring.

  11. J2 says:

    Speaking of your interns… That lousy turncoat Chelsea is moonlighting on The Trophy Blog. After she faked her death and everything.

    http://www.thetrophyblog.com/

  12. LAChris says:

    Thanks Brandon!

  13. half porco says:

    you’re artikel iz whale ritteunh

  14. David says:

    One easy step to becoming HIV+

    Keep having regular bareback sex.

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